Yuck!
by The Wandering Swordsman
Summary: No one believed that someone would criticize Sanji's dish. Spoiler: There are nine StrawHat members.


**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.**

It was six in the morning and Sanji was already in the kitchen fixing a meal normally filling at least twenty men. He knew his captain ate at least one hundred people, but it was breakfast so even the great stretching stomach, his appetite would only call for a less amount. Rarely, Luffy would eat the whole twenty-men breakfast, leaving the rest of the crew picking on some scraps. The ladies had their own share safetly kept away from the captain. Sanji smiled as he was done adding the finishing touches on the dishes and took in a deep breath. "Done!" He was confident on how the dishes were prepared-he didn't need to taste. Just a few days ago, Sanji bought some new kitchen appliances at a good price and he was dying to use them. He especially loved the frying pan he bought; it was light-weight, non-stick, and it filled a lot of vegetables without overflowing.

Few minutes later, he heard the sound of footsteps and Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and a new member named Brooke ran into the dining room-their nostrils opened wide to take in the good smell. Robin, Nami, and Franky strolled right after and found a place to seat as the noisy four were pushing and shoving each other while taking some of the share. Luffy was about to take a huge bite of the chicken but instead he tasted Sanji's heel. The captain's head shot to the right and bounced right back. Luffy rubbed his mouth and neck and pouted, "Sanji!! What did you do that for!?"

"Wait for the stupid marimo idiot."

"You never tell us to do that!"

"It's the first debut for the frying pans to make this dish. I want everyone to try, which means _everyone_."

"I'll wake him up. I'm SUPER hungry." Franky replied and left the table. Brooke got an advantage and took some of Franky's space. Brooke gave a boney smile, "My this look scrumptious. I can't wait to take a bite."

Luffy nearly cried and cheered when Franky entered dragging the tired Zoro behind him. Usopp and Chopper scooted in a chair for Zoro to sit and he reluctantly sat down. He craned his neck, "I told you cook, if I don't wake up, that means I'm not hungry."

"Just try some and then you'll be allowed go back into your training room." Zoro grunted in response and grabbed a fork.

Before Sanji could step back everyone took a bite (Luffy took many bites).

Nami covered her mouth and blinked. She and Robin exchanged glances and Robin gave a grin at Sanji, "This is...different. What is it?"

Sanji grinned, "Why, you are so keen with your taste Robin-chwan! Yes, I added some spices I bought at the market few days ago. It gives off a nice smell so I thought it'll fit perfectly for this dish!"

Usopp laughed, "Wow, this is...um...what can I say?"

Chopper swallowed and commented, "This...is..."

"DISGUSTING." Everyone shifted their heads toward Luffy and Zoro, both lowered their forks back on the table. Luffy stuck his tongue out and deftly ran his fingers down on it. Zoro quickly grabbd a glass of water and drank the food contents down. Sanji's hands tightened into a fist and lunged for Zoro knocking him off the table and onto the floor. Robin quickly used her hands and pulled them apart.

Zoro had a broken nose and blood dribbled down and staining his shirt Sanji's hair and his shirt was messed up and he had some cuts on his cheeks. Sanji roared, tears welled up in his eyes, "_HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT_!"

Zoro jabbed a finger at the dishes, "I WAS BEING HONEST! THAT TASTES LIKE SHIT!"

Sanji suddenly lost the power to fight back and sobbed. Nami and Robin ran up to him and tried comforting him. The blond glanced at the two ladies, "D-did you think it tasted bad?"

The two ladies looked at each other and gave a weak nod. The cook crumbled onto the floor and wailed. Nami allowed Sanji to cry in her chest-but just this once.

This afternoon, Sanji got over the depression and was planning on making lunch. Throughout his life, everyone has given him compliments on his dish. This was a complete shock for him. He later tried his own dish and he gasped at the horribleness. He pitied the ladies who ate the disgusting dish and managed to think of a positive way to compliment the dish. Zoro on the other hand...

Sanji threw a cutting knife at the incoming and unwanted visitor who happened to be Zoro. He dodged it swiftly and was able to grab it before it made a cut in the wall. Zoro frowned, "Wasn't a knife almost part of a cook's life?"

"Shut up. I really don't want to talk to you today."

Zoro lowered his shoulders, "Why? You thought of it too didn't you? It was gross." he sighed, "All you have to do is remember what you used, don't use it, and problem's solved."

"Is it...the spice?" Sanji reached for the spice he bought few days ago and handed it to Zoro. The swordsman reluctantly sprinkled some on his palm and took a taste.

"Well?"

"Tastes fine."

"It tastes spicy."

"Well Luffy, that's what spice supposed to taste li-Luffy!? When did you come in here!?"

The captain grinned, "Just a few minutes ago! I was wondering what you were going to cook this time!"

Sanji sighed, "It's lunch, so I was planning one making simple pancakes but I don't feel all great right now."

Luffy grinned, "Let me cook then!"

"What!?" Zoro and Sanji both exclaimed. Zoro remembered the past when they were the only ones on the ship-Luffy couldn't even light a fire. Sanji heard from Luffy's mouth he couldn't cook when he was fighting with Arlong.

Zoro frowned, "Luffy. I don't think you can even crack an egg. Do you think you can make a pancake with this frying pan?" He lifted the new frying pan Sanji bought and froze. Zoro flipped the pan over and smirked. "I get it."

"Get what?"

Zoro handed the frying pan to Luffy, "I guess you can give it a try."

"Really!?"

Sanji gaped, "He's going to explode the kitchen! What are you-" Sanji couldn't say anymore for Zoro covered his mouth. His mind went blank when he heard Zoro yell, "Just add random stuff you'll think a pancake is made."

"It's brown...do you add soy sauce?"

"Sure. Try that."

Sanji bit on Zoro's fingers-hard. Zoro's face didn't even change color and he continued to answer all of Luffy's suggestions, mainly with yes. Sanji nearly fainted when he saw Luffy turn on the heat a rather too high and spilled unknown batter on the sides of the stove. Sanji managed to squirm out of Zoro's grasp and whispered in a horrified tone, "Is it just me or the batter looks awfully thick and brown."

Zoro recovered Sanji's mouth and took a seat, "He did add olive oil and some kind of vegetable oil for the thickness and I did see him adding oyster sauce because he said the soy sauce wasn't making the batter brown enough..."

"If I see the crew all down on the grass, you're dead!" Sanji snapped between closed lips.

"Whatever. Just watch the fascinating cook do his work."

-.-.-

Everyone was surprised that it was Zoro who was serving the plates. Sanji sweatdropped at the scene, "Marimo, please...don't give that stuff to Nami-san and Robin-chwan..."

"Why?" Zoro replied coldly, "Everyone needs a share...oh yeah, here you go."

"I do NOT want to eat that."

"Try it. Everyone tried when you made shit today."

"IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE SH-" Before Sanji could scream, Zoro cut a piece of Luffy's special pancake and popped it in his mouth. He closed Sanji's mouth in case he started spitting out all over the place. "Chew."

Sanji gave a look of 'if I throw up, I'm going to spill it all over you.' He chewed and his eyes shot open. Zoro gave a 'see' look and released Sanji. The swordsman took a bite of Luffy's dish and shrugged, 'Tastes better than your 'shit.'"

They both heard surprise and cheers from the lower deck. "I guess they like it too."

Sanji's mouth moved like a broken nutcracker, "Wha...t?"

Zoro magically had the frying pan in his hand and turned its backside, "Did you see the label? It's made from the infamous company where they make helpful yet unhelpful stuff. This frying pan is made for people who can't cook. If they add mumbo jumbo or even poison, the pan magically transforms it into a five star delectible.

...If a five star delectible making cook," Zoro pointed at Sanji, "-uses this the food tastes horribly bad."

"-like shit."

"Yes, like shit."

Sanji grabbed the pan, "So I wasted my money on buying something I can't use?"

"You can't, but Luffy can. You should keep it."

"Why?"

"Luffy can make us something if you get sick."

"Oh I feel glad."


End file.
